Untitled Document

Breastfeeding Issues

NOTE: You may email any questions that you have about breastfeeding and the law to the author of the following materials at: baldwin@lawbf.com

A GUIDE FOR PARENTS WHO DIVORCE OR SEPARATE: FASHIONING PARENTING TIME FOR BREASTFED CHILDREN

Introduction

Parents who divorce or separate are faced with many decisions about their children, such as time the they will spend with each parent. The primary focus is how to help promote, encourage and maintain a close, loving relationship between the children and both parents, as this is best for children. When a child is breastfed, it is necessary to look at how to accomplish this without jeopardizing the breastfeeding relationship. Note that breastfeeding is not inconsistent with Dad's bond! Babies can and do have very close bonds with their fathers, without jeopardizing breastfeeding or Mom's bond, which is born of biology. To achieve this 'best' for your child, it will likely involve flexibility, and a good bit of creativity.

Importance of Breastfeeding

There are many reasons why breastfeeding should be considered and encouraged in fashioning parenting time, as it is such an important health choice! Research documents the significant health benefits to both baby and Mom, and these benefits increase the longer they nurse. Current recommendations in the U.S. and globally regarding how long women should breastfeed their children are a minimum of one to two years, and beyond. It is best for children to be allowed to wean naturally.

Children who are not breastfed have higher rates of death, meningitis, childhood leukemia and other cancers, diabetes, respiratory illnesses, bacterial and viral infections, diarrhoeal diseases, ear infections, allergies, obesity and developmental delays. Women who do not breastfeed demonstrate a higher risk for breast and ovarian cancers. Breastfeeding not only offers better nutrition, digestion and immunity for children, but studies also show it increases the IQ of a child. Breastfeeding also improves bonding between mothers and babies.

The importance of breastfeeding is reflected in federal and state legislation designed to increase the rates of breastfeeding. Over « of the states in the U.S. have enacted some form of breastfeeding legislation, dealing with such issues as breastfeeding in public, jury duty, and supporting breastfeeding mothers in the workplace. While only three states require courts to consider breastfeeding in fashioning parenting time for parents who divorce or separate, there are numerous state court decisions that require this factor to be considered. After all, encouraging breastfeeding saves millions of dollars, and improves the health of children and their mothers.

Fashioning Parenting Time for a Breastfed Child

Breastfeeding is more than just the delivery of breast milk. Babies grow inside their mother's body, and when Mom is willing to breastfeed, the baby is likely not accustomed to separations from her. It is best that babies be in constant contact with their breastfeeding mothers, and thus if a mother is not leaving the baby with anyone for any reason, this should be respected and encouraged as best for the baby. Thus, a good rule of thumb is for separations to not exceed what the baby is accustomed to. If the baby is not left at all with anyone, then separations should start with an hour or two, and gradually increase. .

Short, frequent contact with an absence of lengthy separations from the mother is the best way to help Dad have a close bond with a breastfed child. How short and how frequent depends on many factors, such as how well established breastfeeding is, and what parenting style are the parents engaging in.

Before Breastfeeding is Well Established

With a baby under six months of age, it may be best for Dad to spend time with the baby while Mom is available, to breastfeed on demand. Look at shaping the time around the baby's feeding schedule, and try to avoid supplements if at all possible. If that is not feasible, then use expressed breast milk instead of formula. If supplementation is necessary prior to breastfeeding being well established (which is not recommended), then it may be necessary to do so without the use of bottles. Newborn babies should not be receiving any bottles or pacifiers until breastfeeding is well established, usually around four to six weeks.

There are good reasons why it is best to supplement with expressed milk rather than formula besides the increased risk of illness to the baby. Some babies will wean once supplementation begins, especially if it begins to early on, or if the baby is not getting enough regular feeds from the breast. Other babies may be intolerant of the formula, and a small percentage of babies will become allergic to whatever formula they are fed. Also, a sudden withdrawal of breastmilk can be a shock to the baby's immune system, as breastmilk provides antibodies and immunities that protect the baby from infection and illness. Keep in mind that these antibodies and immunities are reduced and have less positive effect when a baby is supplemented with formula.

Expressing Breast Milk

Many people think that Dad can have all the time he wants with the baby if Mom will just pump. While expressing breast milk may be necessary with just about any separation from Mom, it is not a substitute for breastfeeding. The breastfeeding relationship is dependent upon the baby nursing frequently, in that a mother's milk supply is directly related to how often the baby nurses. Pumping does not stimulate the breast as the baby does, and thus there may be a reduction in the milk supply, especially if separations are lengthy. Although some breastfeeding mothers have no difficulties expressing milk, others are not so lucky, and some need professional help to do so.

Working Mothers and Breastfeeding

Even if a mother is regularly expressing milk for her baby while she works, it is important to for her to breastfeed before going to work in the morning, when she returns home, and during the night or she may lose her milk supply. It can be very tricky to fashion parenting time when Mom is working, as it is important not to increase the length of separations that the baby is already having. Look to maximize time with Dad while Mom works, and to make sure Mom can nurse before the baby goes off with Dad on days that she is apart from the baby for work. Note that for most working mothers, nighttime is usually when the baby makes up for the missed nursings during the day.

Past Six Months of Age

As the baby reaches six months of age and solids begin, many breastfed babies can tolerate a longer separation from the mother, as Dad can supplement with food. Keep in mind that breastmilk is still the primary nutrient for the entire first 12 months of life. Solids are not to be a substitute for breastmilk. And, once the baby is ready for solids, it is important that the parents work together and with the baby's pediatrician regarding the process of introducing solids. This is very important, as parents should be looking for adverse reactions to new foods introduced. If the parents allow the child to be fed a variety of foods at one time, if the baby shows a reaction, it will be impossible to determine the cause of the reaction. Breastmilk is the primary nutrient for the first year of life. Yet, it is recommended that children breastfeed even longer than this, and preferably until they wean naturally.

However, past one year of age (the absolute minimum that is recommended), and certainly past age two or three, breastfeeding is not a factor in fashioning parenting time. Children who do wean later on can still go on overnight visitations, or even vacations without affecting breastfeeding. However, basic principles of attachment and loss clearly indicate that long separations that are not worked up to are not best for young children. It is important to look at many different factors to determine what is too long for each child.

Long Separations vs. Short, Frequent

Short, frequent visits are generally what is best for a young child, not just because of the breastfeeding but also because of the loss that a young child feels when separated too long from a primary attachment figure. Breastfed babies often have a very close attachment to the mother, and are distressed when apart from her for longer than what they are accustomed to. Remember that babies have very short memories. It is frequent contact with the father that helps a breastfed baby to bond to him, not long periods of time where the baby is taken from the mother. The more frequently the baby sees the father, the closer bond the baby will form with him. Note that while the time apart from Mom might be very short early on, Dad does not have to be restricted to a short visit just a few times a week. Dad can have the baby more than one time in a day, even for repeated visits, if the baby is brought back to the mother in between for a sufficient time to breastfeed. This time will vary from baby to baby. to accomplish this.

It is important for the parents to recognize the stages of development children go through and to be respectful of their individual child's temperament and development. It is very difficult to predict what a three month old child will be like in a year, or two years. Thus, it is important for both parents to work together to determine what works and doesn't work with their individual child. It is recommended that both parents be responsive to the baby, following the baby's signals for feeding, sleeping and contact. The main task for the first year of life is for the baby to establish trust that his needs will be met, and thus it is important for the baby to have close, loving bonds with both parents, without feeling pulled from either of them. Because it is important for the child to have a close and loving bond with both parents, it will be necessary for both of them to work together towards encouraging contact when the baby is so young, and fashioning visitation in the best interests of the baby, even if it is not convenient to the parties. Look at working these issues out yourselves if you can, and consider what will really work for your baby.

NOTE: You may email any questions that you have about breastfeeding and the law to the author of the above materials at: baldwin@lawbf.com

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